I’ve submitted my capstone thesis and the related song I wrote and recorded. The only thing left is the presentation next week! As always, the past weeks have flown by. However, the end of my semester was different from what I had anticipated.
This post is a tribute to the person who made it all possible: my mentor, Jill Sobule. Jill was the funny, courageous, generous, and brilliant artist and songwriter behind the groundbreaking hit “I Kissed a Gril,” which was the first openly queer song to reach the Billboard top 20. Jill passed away at the beginning of May, the very next day after I had finished recording my music.
Taking the Leap - How I Ended Up Writing a Song
Growing up, I secretly dreamed of making music and singing, but I convinced myself at an early age that I wasn’t musical and couldn’t sing. Singing was one of my biggest insecurities, so much so that I wouldn’t even sing along to my favorite songs in the car five years ago.
So, how did I, someone who was hiding in the back row and lip-syncing during Happy Birthday, end up writing and recording a song?
Over the past years, getting myself a piano and diving deeper into music reignited this dream. It was still a silent wish when Jill led a songwriting workshop in one of my Harvard classes. Somehow, I had a gut feeling: Maybe I should use this opportunity and be the first one in our program to write a song as a Capstone project?
This idea felt ridiculous and irrational, as I had never written a full song, and well, this wasn’t just any project but my Harvard Capstone.
With encouragement from loved ones, friends, my program directors, and the hope that I might get to work with Jill as a mentor, I decided to go for it – I didn’t need to sing it myself, though, I thought. Jill did become my mentor, the best one I could have hoped for.
Lessons Learned from Jill Sobule
Jill supported my song from the very beginning, from giving me funny writing plots to reading my rough drafts, getting me through writer’s block, and lacking confidence in my own artistic choices. She showed me what true mentorship means: honest with feedback, generous with her time, supportive whenever I needed her, and always rooting for my own artistic expression – and voice. Well, three months of encouragement later, I have recorded and submitted the song, with my own voice.
Among the other lessons learned, two things truly carried my
project forward:
1. Your own artistic vision matters
When you’re new to something, it is easy to
get lost in others’ advice, particularly from more experienced people who seem
to know better, but some decisions simply go back to taste. Jill constantly
reminded me that there’s some choices only I can make in my own music. It is
essential to stop asking too many people, as it will “only mess me up” and will
prevent me from hearing my voice clearly among all the other voices.
2. More is not always better
I am pretty much a perfectionist, which is
difficult in art because art will never be perfect, particularly if it reflects
me as an imperfect human being. Jill gave me an example of a friend of hers who
is an extremely talented painter. Jill said there is a point at which a
painting doesn’t get better but rather worse through adding strokes and tweaking
it further. Knowing when to step back is one of the most important skills while
creating art.
A Song, A Goodbye, A Dedication
I have not once regretted facing my fears and following my gut, and I definitely grew as a person in the process. This was only possible through Jill’s support, who went above and beyond to support me and my project with care and passion, as if it were her own.
For now, I just want to say thank you, Jill. I want to dedicate this song to you – one of the last projects you poured your heart into, but never got to hear the finished version of. Thank you for the inspiration, pep talks, spontaneous messages, calls, humor, encouragement and support in finding my own voice.
I will discuss the song and its topic in more detail in one of the upcoming posts.
Until then, lots of love from Boston!
